“Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don't know something, and to learn something new."

- Barack Obama

Welcome to our family support group! First of all, welcome to any newcomers and welcome back to those who have been part of this group before. It takes courage and vulnerability to show up and share your story with others, and as many of you do every week, it also takes courage and vulnerability to keep showing up. This week, we discussed co-occurring mental health and substance use disorders, what keeps us from asking for help, and why self-care is so crucial in your recovery process from your loved one’s addiction.

Understanding co-occurring disorders

  • Definition: Co-occurring disorders refer to the presence of both a mental health disorder and a substance use disorder in an individual. Common mental health disorders include depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia.
  • Interconnectedness: These disorders often interact with each other, making diagnosis and treatment more complex. For example, someone might use substances to self-medicate for mental health symptoms, which can worsen both conditions. On the other side, it can happen where someone’s substance use could lead to mental health disorders and/or difficulties.

Treatment Approaches

  • Integrated Treatment: The most effective approach is integrated treatment, which addresses both disorders simultaneously. This can include a combination of medication, therapy, and support groups.
  • Personalized Care: Treatment plans should be tailored to the individual’s needs, considering their unique circumstances and preferences.

Resources for Family Members

  • SAMHSA: The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) offers a range of resources for families coping with co-occurring disorders. They provide information on treatment options, support groups, and strategies for supporting a loved one.
  • NIMH: The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) provides detailed information on the diagnosis and treatment of co-occurring disorders. They also offer guidance on finding help and participating in clinical trials.
  • Support Groups: Joining support groups like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon can provide emotional support and practical advice from others who are going through similar experiences.

Practical Tips for Family Members

  • Educate Yourself: Learn as much as possible about both disorders to better understand what your loved one is going through.
  • Open Communication: Encourage open and honest communication with your loved one about their struggles and the importance of seeking help.
  • Set Boundaries: Establish healthy boundaries to protect your well-being while supporting your loved one.
  • Seek Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to seek professional help for yourself and your loved one. Therapists, counselors, and support groups can provide valuable guidance and support.

Additional Resources

  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline: A confidential helpline that provides information on treatment options and support services.
  • FindTreatment.gov: A website to locate treatment facilities and services in your area, or contact our team at Family Centered Services to help you find the appropriate treatment facility and level of care for your loved one.

By understanding the complexities of co-occurring disorders and utilizing available resources, you and your family can play a crucial role in supporting your loved ones on the path to recovery.

Barriers to asking for help

Emotional Barriers

  1. Fear of Judgment:
    • Family members often worry about being judged by others for their loved one’s addiction. This fear can stem from concerns about being seen as having failed in their roles as parents, siblings, or partners.
    • You may fear that seeking help will expose your loved one’s addiction to a broader circle, leading to gossip or negative perceptions within their community or social group.
  2. Guilt and Shame:
    • Many family members feel a deep sense of guilt, believing they are somehow responsible for their loved one’s addiction. This guilt can be paralyzing, making it difficult to seek help.
    • Shame is another powerful emotion that can prevent you and your family from reaching out. You may feel ashamed of the addiction and worry about how it reflects on you and your family.
  3. Denial:
    • Denial is a common emotional barrier. Family members may struggle to accept the severity of the addiction or may hope that the problem will resolve itself without intervention.
    • Denial can be a coping mechanism to avoid the pain and stress associated with acknowledging the addiction.

Social Barriers

  1. Stigma:
    • The stigma surrounding addiction can be a significant social barrier. Family members may fear being ostracized or judged by their community if they seek help.
    • Stigma can also lead to a lack of understanding and support from friends and extended family, making it harder to find a safe space to discuss the issue.
  2. Isolation:
    • Many families dealing with addiction isolate themselves from their social networks to avoid judgment and scrutiny. This isolation can make it difficult to seek and receive support.
    • Social isolation can also result in a lack of awareness about available resources and support services.
  3. Cultural Norms:
    • In some cultures, discussing addiction and seeking help may be seen as taboo. Cultural norms and expectations can discourage family members from addressing the issue openly.
    • You may also face pressure to “keep it within the family” and not seek outside help, which can further hinder your ability to access support.

Psychological Barriers

  1. Fear of Consequences:
    • Family members may fear the potential consequences of seeking help, such as their loved one facing legal issues, losing their job, or experiencing negative repercussions within their community.
    • The uncertainty about how your loved one will react to intervention can also be a significant psychological barrier.
  2. Feelings of Helplessness:
    • The chronic nature of addiction can lead to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness among family members. They may feel that no matter what they do, they cannot change the situation.
    • These feelings can lead to inaction and a reluctance to seek help, as you and your family may believe nothing will make a difference.
  3. Mistrust of Professionals:
    • Negative past experiences with healthcare providers or addiction treatment services can result in a mistrust of professionals. Family members may doubt the effectiveness of available treatments or fear that their concerns will not be taken seriously.
    • This mistrust can prevent you from reaching out for professional help and support.

Understanding and addressing these barriers is crucial for creating a supportive environment where you and your family feel empowered to seek help for your loved ones. By acknowledging and working through these emotional, social, and psychological obstacles, you can better navigate the challenges of addiction and access the resources they need.

Overcoming barriers to asking for help

Overcoming these barriers can be challenging, but there are several strategies and resources that you and your family can use to get the support you need:

Emotional Barriers

  1. Fear of Judgment:
    • Find Supportive Communities: Joining support groups like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, where members share similar experiences, can help reduce the fear of judgment.
    • Confidential Counseling: Seek confidential counseling or therapy to discuss fears and concerns without the fear of judgment.
  2. Guilt and Shame:
    • Education: Learn about addiction as a medical condition to understand that it’s not a failure on your part. Education can help alleviate guilt and shame.
    • Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion and recognize that supporting a loved one with addiction is incredibly challenging, and it’s okay to seek help.
  3. Denial:
    • Professional Guidance: Consult with a healthcare professional or addiction specialist who can objectively assess the situation.
    • Open Communication: Encourage open and honest communication within the family to address the reality of the addiction and the need for support.

Social Barriers

  1. Stigma:
    • Public Awareness: Participate in public awareness campaigns to help reduce the stigma associated with addiction.
    • Support Networks: Build a strong support network of understanding friends, family, and community members who can offer non-judgmental support.
  2. Isolation:
    • Reach Out: Actively reach out to friends, family, and community resources to break the cycle of isolation.
    • Community Involvement: Engage in community activities and support groups to connect with others who understand the challenges of addiction.
  3. Cultural Norms:
    • Seek Culturally Competent Support: Find support services and professionals who understand and respect cultural norms and can provide appropriate guidance.
    • Cultural Sensitivity: Educate yourself about the cultural aspects of addiction and seek ways to navigate cultural norms while still seeking help.

Psychological Barriers

  1. Fear of Consequences:
    • Risk-Benefit Analysis: Conduct a risk-benefit analysis to understand the potential positive outcomes of seeking help versus negative consequences.
    • Plan of Action: Develop a clear plan of action with the help of a professional to minimize negative repercussions.
  2. Feelings of Helplessness:
    • Empowerment Through Knowledge: Educate yourself about addiction, treatment options, and recovery processes to feel more empowered and capable of making informed decisions.
    • Small Steps: Focus on taking small, manageable steps toward seeking help rather than feeling overwhelmed by the entire process.
  3. Mistrust of Professionals:
    • Research and Vetting: Research and vet professionals and treatment programs to find those with good reputations and positive reviews.
    • Building Trust: Start with small interactions to build trust and gradually engage more deeply with the professional support system.

General Strategies for Overcoming Barriers

  1. Education and Awareness:
    • Informational Resources: Access informational resources from reputable organizations, such as the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), and local support organizations.
    • Workshops and Seminars: Attend workshops, seminars, and webinars on addiction and recovery to gain a deeper understanding and practical knowledge.
  2. Support Groups:
    • Peer Support: Join peer support groups for family members of individuals with addiction to share experiences, gain insights, and receive emotional support.
    • Family Therapy: Engage in family therapy to address collective concerns, improve communication, and develop strategies for supporting the loved one in recovery.
  3. Self-Care:
    • Prioritize Well-being: Prioritize self-care and well-being, recognizing that taking care of yourself is essential for effectively supporting a loved one.
    • Stress Management: To maintain emotional and mental health, practice stress management techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, exercise, and hobbies.

By utilizing these strategies, you and your family can navigate the emotional, social, and psychological barriers you face and find the support you need to help your loved ones with addiction.

The importance of self-care

Often, when you have lived in the chaos caused by your loved one’s addiction and constantly worrying about their well-being, as well as your family’s well-being, self-care for yourself can be the first thing to take a back seat. Often in group, we mention that you can’t pour from an empty cup. This means you need to take care of yourself before you can effectively care for others. Just as an empty cup cannot provide water to others, a physically, emotionally, or mentally exhausted person cannot provide support or help to others. Being intentional about taking time and caring for yourself is crucial to your recovery.

Prioritizing Self-Care

  1. Emotional Well-Being: Caring for a loved one with addiction can be emotionally draining. You and your family must acknowledge your feelings and seek support through counseling, support groups, or therapy. By addressing your emotional needs, you can better handle the stress and challenges of supporting a loved one in recovery.
  2. Physical Health: The stress and demands of caregiving can affect physical health. To maintain physical well-being, prioritize regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate rest. Neglecting your health can lead to burnout, making it challenging to provide effective support.
  3. Mental Health: Managing the complexities of addiction can be mentally exhausting. Engaging in activities that promote mental well-being, such as mindfulness, meditation, or hobbies, can help you recharge and maintain a positive outlook.

Establishing Boundaries

  1. Setting Limits: You and your family must set clear boundaries with your loved one to protect your well-being. This includes establishing limits on acceptable behaviors and actions you are willing to take. Boundaries help prevent enabling behaviors and promote a healthier dynamic.
  2. Self-Preservation: Boundaries also serve as a way to preserve your mental and emotional health. By setting limits, they can avoid becoming overwhelmed or consumed by their loved one’s addiction.

Seeking Support

  1. Professional Help: Do not hesitate to seek professional help for yourself and your family. Therapists and counselors can provide valuable guidance and coping strategies to navigate the challenges of supporting a loved one with addiction.
  2. Peer Support: Joining support groups like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon can offer a sense of community and shared experiences. Connecting with others who understand the struggles of addiction can provide emotional support and practical advice.

Maintaining Balance

  1. Personal Interests: It’s important to continue pursuing your interests and activities. Maintaining a sense of individuality and personal fulfillment helps prevent your identity from being solely defined by your loved one’s addiction.
  2. Stress Management: Incorporating stress management techniques, such as yoga, deep breathing exercises, or time in nature, can help you and your family stay resilient and better equipped to handle challenging situations.

Encouraging Independence

  1. Empowering the Loved One: It is crucial to encourage loved ones to take responsibility for their recovery journey. You can provide support and resources, but ultimately, the individual must take active steps toward recovery.
  2. Fostering Self-Sufficiency: By fostering independence, you and your family can avoid becoming overburdened and allow your loved one to develop the skills and resilience needed for long-term recovery.

How you can practice self-care

Emotional Self-Care

  1. Journaling: Writing down thoughts and feelings can help process emotions and reduce stress.
  2. Therapy: Individual or family therapy can provide a safe space to discuss concerns and receive professional guidance.
  3. Support Groups: Joining support groups like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon can offer a sense of community and shared experiences.

Physical Self-Care

  1. Exercise: Regular physical activity, such as walking, yoga, or swimming, can help reduce stress and improve overall health.
  2. Healthy Eating: A balanced diet with nutritious foods can boost energy levels and support physical well-being.
  3. Rest and Sleep: Prioritizing adequate rest and sleep is essential for managing stress and maintaining physical health.

Mental Self-Care

  1. Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness or meditation can help calm the mind and improve focus.
  2. Hobbies: Engaging in enjoyable activities, such as reading, painting, gardening, or playing music, can provide a mental break and promote relaxation.
  3. Learning: Taking time to learn about addiction and recovery can empower you and your family and provide a better understanding of your loved one’s disease.

Social Self-Care

  1. Connecting with Friends: Spending time with friends and maintaining social connections can provide emotional support and reduce feelings of isolation.
  2. Family Time: Engaging in positive and enjoyable activities with other family members can strengthen relationships and provide mutual support.
  3. Volunteering: Helping others through volunteering can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Spiritual Self-Care

  1. Meditation and Prayer: Engaging in meditation, prayer, or other spiritual practices can provide comfort and a sense of connection to something greater.
  2. Nature Walks: Spending time in nature can be a grounding and rejuvenating experience.
  3. Reflection: Taking time for self-reflection and practicing gratitude can enhance spiritual well-being.

Practical Self-Care

  1. Organization: Keeping an organized living space can reduce stress and create a sense of control.
  2. Time Management: Prioritizing tasks and setting realistic goals can help manage responsibilities and reduce overwhelm.
  3. Delegating Tasks: Asking for help and delegating tasks to others can alleviate the burden of caregiving responsibilities.

Stress Management Techniques

  1. Breathing Exercises: Deep breathing exercises can help reduce anxiety and promote relaxation.
  2. Relaxation Techniques: Progressive muscle relaxation, visualization, or aromatherapy can help alleviate stress.
  3. Creative Expression: Engaging in creative activities like writing, drawing, or crafting can provide an outlet for emotions and reduce stress.

Supporting a loved one with substance use disorders or addiction can be an incredibly challenging and emotional journey for you and your family. Understanding the complexities of co-occurring mental health and substance use disorders, recognizing the barriers to seeking help, and prioritizing self-care are crucial steps in navigating this journey.

Key Takeaways

  1. Co-Occurring Disorders: It’s important to understand that co-occurring mental health and substance use disorders require integrated and personalized treatment approaches. Education and awareness about these conditions can empower you and your family to provide better support.
  2. Barriers to Seeking Help: You may face emotional, social, and psychological barriers, such as fear of judgment, guilt, stigma, and social isolation. Acknowledging and finding ways to overcome these barriers is essential for accessing the necessary support and resources.
  3. Prioritizing Self-Care: The metaphor “You can’t pour from an empty cup” highlights the importance of self-care. You must prioritize your emotional, physical, and mental well-being to support your loved ones effectively. Examples of self-care include seeking therapy, joining support groups, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and setting boundaries.

Final Thoughts

You and your family can create a more supportive and sustainable environment for your loved ones by understanding the challenges and taking proactive steps to care for yourselves. To navigate the complexities of addiction and recovery, it’s essential to seek professional help, build a strong support network, and engage in self-care practices.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Resources, support groups, and professionals are available to help you and your loved one every step of the way. Please contact our team if you need further assistance or have any specific questions. We’re here to help!

 

Related Resources

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Media

12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: Getting Your Recovery Unstuck
 in Books
Addiction
 in Watch
Addict in the House: A No-Nonsense Family Guide Through Addiction and Recovery
 in Books
Al-Anon Newcomers
 in Documents
Am I helping, or enabling?
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Codependency and Family Rules
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Codependent No More
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Detachment
 in Documents
Everything Changes: Help for Families of Newly Recovering Addicts
 in Books
Family Roles in Addiction
 in Documents
How Al-Anon Works for Family & Friends
 in Books
Intervention
 in Watch
Love First: A Family’s Guide to Intervention
 in Books
Love Over Addiction
 in Podcasts
Maintaining Personal Boundaries
 in Documents
Patterns In Codependency
 in Documents
Resentment…..The Pain that Keeps on Giving
 in Documents
Restoration Through Forgiveness
 in Documents
Stigma of Addiction
 in Watch
The Cycle of Guilt and Shame
 in Documents
The Disease of Addiction
 in Documents
The Enabler: When Helping Hurts the One you Love
 in Books
Understanding Boundaries
 in Documents
What is Codependency?
 in Documents
Working Through Shame and Guilt
 in Documents

Web

Al-Anon Family Groups
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Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation
Helping Families Help – CRAFT Groups
Hopestream Community
National Institute On Drug Abuse
Northwest Buddhist Recovery
PAL: Parents of Addicted Loved Ones
Recovery Dharma
Refuge Recovery
SAMHSA: Mental Health and Substance Use Disorders
Sisu Healing Partners – CRAFT Group
SMART Recovery for Marijuana Addiction